Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Dear Dad...

{Dad }

I am not the most eloquent writer and I usually express my thoughts through pictures rather than words but I wanted to write something for my dad. January 5th 2009 was the day he passed away. It has been two years and I am still wondering where the time has gone? I was at my first day of hair school when I got the call from my brother Bryan. I can still remember every detail about that day. It was almost like I was frozen in time. Of course I didn't believe it at first. I knew it wasn't a cruel joke but I thought someone made a mistake. I kept waiting for someone to call back me and say he was okay. The drive to the airport was the longest drive off my life. There was a snow storm and the traffic was at a dead stop. My cousin Candace was the one driving. I was so grateful she was there. We made the flight to go back home. We got to the mortuary just in time so I could see my dad. They were delaying the time so I could see him before they had to take him away. I gave him one last hug and a kiss one the cheek and said goodbye. 

Its still so hard to believe that he is gone. When someone is that important in your life its very difficult to surrender your thoughts and tell yourself that it was a part of the plan. I do truly believe that i will see him again, I have no doubt in my mind but that didn't take away the pain of him being gone. I know it has been two years so it would seem to be less painful but sadly it was getting harder. I think for the first year we were kind of going through the motions not really understanding what had happened. Then slowly we realized this was a permanent change for this life time. 

For the longest time it was hard for me to remember the good memories with my dad and I would dwell on the things I should have done better when he was here. But through a lot of prayers and a testimony that was being strengthened I knew that my dad would only want me to be happy. He loved me so much and that was what he wanted me to remember. He was only in my life for 18 short years but he left me with memories that will last a life time. 

 I will always remember the things he taught me. He was one of the most selfless people I have ever meet. He always lead by his example and always taught with love. I am so blessed that I have a dad that was always there for me and cared for me. He really showed me the importance of family. There was never a time where my family was second in his life. He was very busy but he never complained. He always walked around with his head held high and a big smile on his face. He had a way of making any one feel better, his presence had a way of calming things down.

In every trial there will be blessings to come. Although I want him to still be here, I have learned so much in these past two years and I have had so many great blessings.

I met my husband, my best friend, the person who I love more than anything, Greg.
A family, through the darkest times, kept looking forward towards the light
Married into a family that has been so loving and welcoming
and a father in law that would do anything for me
having friends that live far away but always feel close
a heavenly father that knows and loves me
living in a time were the Gospel is so strong
continually learning and strengthening my testimony 

These are a few of the things that I am grateful for. There will be more trials to come but I know I can overcome anything if I have faith in the Lord and in His plan. Thank you to everyone that has helped me in my life. 


  1. I sure hope I am not the only one who can't make it through that without crying. He seems like a great man. And I know that he was because of the person you are. I can't imagine your feelings today, but just know that we love and care for you everyday. I am sure this was hard for you to write but I bet it feels good to say and great for us to get to know him better. I love you and am thinking about you today!

  2. I'm so glad that you wrote this. this day every year will have special importance to you that few other people will remember or realize. you are amazing, and its good to hear that u have already recognized some of the blessings that have been associated with this trial. they will continue to be recognized. be strong! you are in my prayers today!

  3. I am thankful for Dennis Barney today and the beautiful girl he gave me. I love you.

  4. Well written LIndsey! I know your dad wants nothing more for you than to be happy. You are carrying on his great legacy and he is so proud of you! I have been thinking of him all day! It is still so hard to believe, but I know there is a grander plan that is far beyond my comprehension. I love you Lindsey and I know that with faith, hope and support to each other we can find true happiness and peace here on this earth.
    P.S. Did I mention (once again) how happy I am for you and Greg! You guys are such a great couple and I know good things will come from the two of you. Enjoy every second of being in Park City alone together. It will help build and strengthen your relationship more than you will ever know.

  5. Shouldn't have read this at work-I'm a huge baby. You mean the world to us and we can't wait to meet him in the next life and say thank you. It isn't supposed to be easy and the fact that you still smile and are the amazing person you are is unbelievable. Love your little guts.

  6. Rinds I love you :) thinking back on that day and these past few years, you have grown so much and I know your dad is so happy with you and for you. He is one of the most amazing men I have ever known and I learned so much from his example. I'm so happy he let me take care of you for a little while, and now Greg takes care of you exactly the way your dad would have wanted. I love you so much, you have come such a long way and we're all proud of you.

  7. I love you, Linds :) Your dad is amazing and is so proud of you!

  8. I got so teary eyed reading this Linds..i love you!

  9. Lindsey, that was so beautiful! Thank you so much for sharing that. He was a wonderful man and I'm so glad that I was able to know him for a couple years. You are such an awesome woman! Love you girlfriend!

  10. linds- i hope you know this made me shed a few tears. you say you're not good with words, but it's not true. im so grateful for you and for your example to me and many others. you really are the greatest friend, aunt, daughter, and wifey anyone could ever ask for. i know that your dad is very proud of you and what you have become. he is one of the most perfect examples to me of how i want to live my life- im so glad i could really consider him my second dad. i love you so much; i cant wait to live next to each other with our kiddos and husbands soon! :)

  11. i cried through that entire thing. so amazing Lindsey. i can't even imagine the pain you have and are going through. i'm always here if you need a friend.

  12. this really got to me, im not on speaking terms with my father because he and I had a falling out. he called me some things that i didnt think a father could call his daughter. your relationship that you had with your father gives me hope. thank you.

  13. Well written LIndsay, we love you over here at the Williams home. I know the time without your daddy is hard, but he is busy on his new journey just waiting for you to take into his arms, what a beautiful reunion that will be.
    Love Monya